Carolyn Jones

Leslie Nielsen

Joan Collins

Agnes Moorehead

Shortly after their 10th wedding anniversary, New York City theater producer Steven Hilliard (Leslie Nielsen) and his wife, former popular radio singer Kay Ashley Hilliard (June Allyson), are getting a Kay-initiated Reno divorce after Kay finds out about a marital indiscretion he had with Crystal Allen (Dame Joan Collins), a gold-digging chorus girl in one of his shows. News of the indiscretion made its way to Kay indirectly by her catty friend Sylvia Fowler (Dolores Gray). In getting the divorce, Kay's best friend, playwright Amanda Penrose (Ann Sheridan), believes Kay is playing right into the wants of Crystal, whose main goal is not to be happily married to Steven, but to get what such a marriage can bring her in material wealth and comfort. Amanda does not believe Steven loves Crystal and that he still really loves Kay. Kay proceeds with the divorce despite believing they'd had a happy, loving marriage before she learned of the indiscretion, and despite having adolescent daughter Debbie (Sandy Descher) to consider. But when Kay learns information of the goings-on within her social circle, she decides to take back control of her married status while exacting some revenge.—Huggo

The Opposite Sex

The Opposite Sex (1956)

John DeSantis

Kenan Thompson

Desi Lydic

It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by the biggest monsters in movie history: Freddy, Jason , Pinhead , Leatherface , Chucky , & Michael Myers.—Anonymous

Stan Helsing

Stan Helsing (2009)

Kevin Hart

Bill Pullman

Anna Faris

The unemployed Cindy Campbell is hired to work in a cursed house as caretaker of an old lady and meets the ghost of a boy. Meanwhile, the teenager son Robbie and the young daughter Rachel of his next door neighbor and crane operator Tom Ryan are spending the weekend with their loser father. Cindy and Tom meet and fall in love for each other, but when Giant Tripods invade Earth, Tom escapes with Robbie and Rachel; Cindy travels to a village, trying to find the answer to a riddle to save the world; and the president of USA organizes the defense of the planet in UN under his intelligence and leadership.—Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Scary Movie 4

Scary Movie 4 (2006)

Larry Arnold

Gene Hackman

Ernest Borgnine

A passenger ship, on her way to the scrap yard is pushed to her limits by the new owners to save on the dismantling fees. A tidal wave hits her, flipping her over so that all the internal rooms are upside down. A priest takes a mixed band of survivors on a journey through the bowels of the ship in an attempt to survive.—John Vogel

The Poseidon Adventure

The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

Malcolm McDowell

Jennifer Garner

Ernie Hudson

Mr. Magoo is an eccentric millionaire with terrible eyesight who refuses to use eyeglasses, therefore he always gets into trouble. During a museum robbery he accidentally gets a priceless gem called the Star of Kurdistan and starts to trace the way for the arch-criminals--Austin Cloquet and Ortega "The Piranha" Peru-- who had wanted to steal it. Meanwhile, two federal agents, Stupak and Anders, lead the manhunt for Mr. Magoo himself.—Anonymous

Mr. Magoo

Mr. Magoo (1997)

Joyce DeWitt

William Shatner

Oliver Robins

Still haunted by that fateful wartime incident and the nearly catastrophic events of Airplane! (1980), Ted Striker, the ex-fighter pilot who hates flying, escapes from the mental asylum. But as the first passenger space shuttle, the state-of-the-art but untested Mayflower One, is about to take off on its maiden flight, once more, an unforeseen malfunction forces Ted to take over the controls of the shuttle. Now, the traumatized commander is holding everyone's lives in his hands, and as if that weren't enough, Striker has to patch up his already complicated relationship with his engaged former lover, Elaine Dickinson, and confront an unhinged voyager bent on destruction. Can Ted Striker, the reluctant hero, save the day for the second time?—Nick Riganas

Airplane II: The Sequel

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)

Lauren Hutton

Cameron Mitchell

Albert Salmi

Motorcycle stuntman Evel Knievel is offered a fortune to perform in Mexico. What Evel doesn't know is that they're planning to kill him and use his body to ship cocaine into the U.S. His chief mechanic, who is an alcoholic, is weary of the whole thing and discovers something, but before he can tell Evel he is sent to a rehab clinic for drug addicts, which Evel doesn't believe he is. He goes to see him who tells Evel what he found out but is still in the dark as what is happening.—rcs0411@yahoo.com

Viva Knievel!

Viva Knievel! (1977)

Ryan Grantham

Lynda Boyd

Tyler Johnston

The Hanson Brothers are back, and who better to whip a ragtag youth team into shape for the upcoming championships than the most unpredictable trio ever to strap on skates? Time is running short before the big game, but perhaps if the Hanson Brothers can teach their young protégés the true value of a solid check, these inexperienced underdogs can use brutality to their advantage and finally score a winning goal.—Anonymous

Slap Shot 3: The Junior League

Slap Shot 3: The Junior League (2008)

Rob Schneider

Kelly Hu

John Karlen

Brothers Johnny, an adolescent surf talent, and Adam, a preadolescent video-game addict, grow up care-free in California as adopted sons of Marines veteran Mac, inseparable friends of wacky local lout Iggy. Colonel Chi's military reign of terror culminates in their tiny birth-land, island state Patu San, off the Viet Nam coast. Former royal guards officer Zatch comes to summon the brothers to return and restore the pacific monarchy, because they are the sons of the murdered king, whom Mac took in exile for safety. They are joined on the adventurous journey by a bored Californian police detective whose attention was drawn by the ninja team that failed, thanks to Zatch, to murder the brothers in Mac's home.—KGF Vissers

Surf Ninjas

Surf Ninjas (1993)

Patrick Warburton

Lochlyn Munro

Sarah-Jane Redmond

Marty Mackenzie is an unsuccessful stage actor who takes an interest in private investigating. He takes a job working with Jack Potter, a crusty private eye. They both take a case in Beaver Ridge, a seedy small town where a murder is being planned against a rich gravel pit owner. Marty realizes that private investigating is not as it seemed to be.—Andrew L.

Camouflage

Camouflage (2001)

Molly Parker

Hannah Gross

Michelle Nolden

Long Bay resident Donald Foley, a life long curler and more recent curling coach, has just passed away. He has requested that his cremated ashes be bored into a specific curling stone he has just had retrieved from the bottom of Long Bay. His will also has a non-binding codicil to reunite the last team he coached to curl in the Golden Broom Bonspiel in town, a Long Bay team which has never won and that team which was the closest ever to doing so. Donald wants that specific stone in which he is buried to be delivered as the final shot to sit on the button for the win for the Long Bay team. Beyond the four team members not having curled at all since their last bonspiel ten years ago, they each have issues in their lives which may make coming together as a team and winning, and curling in its entirety difficult or a non-priority. Lead Neil Bucyk's life is directed by his controlling wife Linda, a right she believes she has as his livelihood is in her family's business, a funeral home. Second Eddie Strombeck and his wife Lilly are trying to conceive, her ovulation cycles which may trump all else in his life especially as they have long tried to have a baby without success (although they are having a good time in the trying). Third James Lennox, who has recently returned to town with Joanne, the latest in a long line of not too bright casual and short term girlfriends, is a drug dealer whose biggest priority may be to evade the thugs to who he owes a lot of money. But the biggest question mark may be skip Chris Cutter, who unilaterally made the decision to break up the team when he left town to work in the Alberta oil patch. He quit curling over guilt in not reporting a burnt rock in that last bonspiel, that rock which he ultimately threw into Long Bay (i.e. the rock in which Donald is now buried). The issue of skill may be somewhat addressed if Chris is willing to reconnect with his father and Donald's friend, Gordon Cutter, with who Chris has been estranged over family issues but who remains the most knowledgeable curler in town. The other part of the skill issue is that the Butte team will be curling in the bonspiel, their entire team, but especially skip Alexander Yount, who are treated like rock stars in the curling world. If Chris remains in town to curl, he also has to address some personal issues, as his departure ten years ago broke up his relationship with Donald's daughter, Julie Foley, that adversity which in part led to she coming out ahead professionally as a member now of the space program. However, Donald's other daughter, single mother physiotherapist and admitted alcoholic Amy Foley, who was Chris' drinking buddy and is everyone's best friend, has always had feelings for Chris herself, something of which Chris and Julie, deep in their hearts, are aware.—Huggo

Men with Brooms

Men with Brooms (2002)

Erik Knudsen

Steven Eckholdt

Karen Robinson

Santa Claus develops amnesia after accidentally falling out of his sleigh and only the innocence of a small child can save him. Meanwhile, Santa has to battle the disbelief of a newsman.—John Sacksteder

Santa Who?

Santa Who? (2000)

Burton Zucker

Conrad E. Palmisano

Ricardo Montalban

A rerun of many of the gags from the television series Police Squad! (1982). An Airplane! (1980)-type spoof, this time with the an incompetent Lieutenant Frank Drebin, who always "gets his man". Visual gags come thick and fast, and it's impossible to catch them all with one viewing. The plot: Queen Elizabeth II of England is coming to town, and Vincent Ludwig has plans to assassinate her using a brainwashed baseball player.—Rob Hartill

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)

Mel Brooks

Steven Weber

Peter MacNicol

Another spoof from the mind of Mel Brooks. This time he's out to poke fun at the Dracula myth. Basically, he took "Bram Stoker's Dracula," gave it a new cast and a new script and made a big joke out of it. The usual, rich English are attacked by Dracula and Dr. Van Helsing is brought in to save the day.—Jason Ihle

Dracula: Dead and Loving It

Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)

Lara Parker

Barry Van Dyke

A.J. Simmons

A spoiled rich girl used to getting her way comes up against a rancher who won't be intimidated by her.

Foxfire Light

Foxfire Light (1983)

Norman Alexander Gibbs

Jonathan Banks

Jason Wingreen

Drowning his sorrows after that botched mission during World War II, Ted Striker, a traumatized ex-fighter-pilot with a neurotic fear of flying, still has not gotten over his old flame, flight attendant, Elaine Dickinson. Determined to win her back, Ted boards a domestic flight from Los Angeles to Chicago, only to come face-to-face with a severe case of in-flight food poisoning that is threatening everyone's lives. With most of the passengers and the entire cockpit crew down with the food-borne illness, Striker must confront his inner demons and take over the control of the ungovernable aircraft with the help of a gruff air-traffic controller and his former commander. Can Ted Striker land the airplane and save the passengers?—Nick Riganas

Airplane!

Airplane! (1980)

Michael York

Kelly LeBrock

Melinda McGraw

Ryan Harrison, a violin god, superstar and sex symbol does not want to cheat with sexy Lauren Goodhue, who is married to Ryan Goodhue. Shortly after that Mr. Goodhue is found murdered and Ryan suddenly finds himself being the main suspect. After being sentenced to death he manages to flee while being transferred to his execution site. Now, all the world is after him as he stumbles from one unfortunate incident to the next in order to find the real murderer.—Julian Reischl

Wrongfully Accused

Wrongfully Accused (1998)

Alexandra Paul

Tina Arning

Brad Garrett

General Rancor is threatening to destroy the world with a missile he is hiding at his secret base. But to complete his goal, he needs a special computer chip, invented by scientist Prof. Ukrinsky. Special Agent Dick Steele is assigned to the case, in order to prevent the worst. He teams up with Ukrinsky's daughter Veronique, who happens to be a KGB agent.—Thomas Meyer

Spy Hard

Spy Hard (1996)

Mila Kunis

Seth MacFarlane

While the Griffins are watching television one night, the power goes out and they are left sitting in the dark with no other form of entertainment. While they wait for the power to return, Peter decides to tell the story of Star Wars (starting with part four), where the characters from Family Guy are re-imagined as Star Wars characters.An extremely expository opening crawl reveals several plot spoilers such as Darth Vader being Luke Skywalker's father and Princess Leia being his sister before trailing off to talk about Angelina Jolie and her movie Gia. Finally, a large Rebel ship is seen being captured by a Star Destroyer. On the ship are the droids C-3PO (Quagmire) and R2-D2 (Cleveland). While the ship is boarded by stormtroopers, Princess Leia (Lois) tries to send an MPEG to Obi-Wan Kenobi (Herbert) through R2, but encounters so many complications that R2 offers to deliver the message himself. Leia is captured by Darth Vader (Stewie) while R2 and 3PO flee to Tatooine in an escape pod, where they are captured by Jawa traders.The droids are sold to a family of moisture farmers, Uncle Owen (Carter Pewterschmidt) and Aunt Beru (Barbara Pewterschmidt) and their nephew, Luke Skywalker (Chris), who wishes to join the Rebellion and fight the evil Empire, all the while enjoying John Williams and the London Symphony Orchestra performing in the background. While cleaning the droids that night, Luke stumbles upon Leia's message inside R2, who escapes by the next morning. Luke and 3PO go out after him and meet Obi-Wan Kenobi (Herbert), who takes the three to his hut. Leia's message explains that R2 contains the plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Death Star, which must be sent to her father on her home planet of Alderaan (the message also mentions a certain "mess" he got into with the children there). Obi-Wan tells Luke that he must learn the ways of the Force and accompany him to Alderaan, and gives him his own lightsaber. Realizing that the Empire would be looking for the droids, Luke returns home to discover that his home has been destroyed and his aunt, uncle, John Williams, and the London Symphony Orchestra have all been killed by Imperial stormtroopers, though Luke is only concerned with Williams' death, since the film must now be scored by Danny Elfman, whom Luke beheads after hearing a few seconds of his music (a slightly altered version of The Simpsons theme-tune). Regardless, the original score plays throughout the rest of the episode.Luke, Obi-Wan, and the droids travel to Mos Eisley in search of a ship and pilot to take them to Alderaan. At a local cantina, they meet and hire smuggler Han Solo (Peter), "the only actor whose career wasn't destroyed by this movie", and his Wookiee co-pilot Chewbacca (Brian), who agree to take them on their ship, the Millennium Falcon. The group is spotted by stormtroopers and flees into space, evading pursuing Star Destroyers with some flashy maneuvers (i.e., listing lazily to the left) before jumping into hyperspace, traveling through the time vortex tunnel from the opening of the Tom Baker-era Doctor Who. Meanwhile, Leia is being held captive on the Death Star, where commanding officer Grand Moff Tarkin (Mayor West) has Alderaan destroyed to test the space station's "planet blower-upper gun."The Millennium Falcon exits hyperspace into the middle of an Asteroid field where Alderaan once was. The ship is then captured by the nearby Death Star's tractor beam and brought into its hangar bay, assisted by valets. Disguising themselves as stormtroopers ("being cool" to the tune of Minnie the Moocher), Han and Luke set off to rescue the captive Princess while Obi-Wan leaves to shut off the tractor beam, but not before performing "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" with stormtroopers as a farewell to Luke. Han, Luke, and Chewie head deeper into the Death Star and rescue Leia, and the four dive into a nearby garbage chute to escape from the stormtroopers. Ending up in the garbage compactor (the only instance Meg appears, as the dianoga skulking in the murky water), they are nearly crushed until 3PO gets high off of marijuana R2 gave him earlier and leans against the off switch. Before they escape, Han and Chewie insist on taking a couch they found in the garbage with them. Obi-Wan manages to turn off the tractor beam before he is confronted by Darth Vader in a lightsaber duel; in it, Obi-Wan's blade falls limp until he sees Luke, and it becomes erect. Vader strikes Obi-Wan down as the others board the Falcon and escape, taking their new couch with them.Warding off a group of "Thai Fighters" sent to stop them, the Falcon journeys to the Rebel base at Yavin IV where the Death Star plans are analyzed by the Rebels and a weakness is found. The attack requires a pilot to skim along a trench in a one-man starfighter to attack a vulnerable exhaust port added for aesthetics (Vader had ordered it to be boarded up earlier, but delayed the process to "get estimates"); in addition, they watch an instructional video featuring Magic Johnson that explains the strategy. Luke joins the assault team while Han collects his reward for the rescue (a gift basket with rather meager prizes) and leaves, much to Luke's dismay. The Rebel fighters suffer heavy losses (including Redd Foxx) during the assault, though Luke remains piloting one of the few remaining ships. During his run, Luke hears Obi-Wan's voice telling him to use the Force, and he turns off his targeting computer. Darth Vader appears with his own group of fighters and is about to fire at Luke's ship, when Han arrives in the Millennium Falcon (sitting comfortably with Chewbacca at his side on his new couch) and attacks Vader and his wingmen, sending Vader careening off into space. Guided by the Force, Luke fires a successful shot into the port which destroys the Death Star, and he returns to the Rebel base with his friends to celebrate their victory.Back in the Family Guy universe, just after Peter wraps up the story, the power comes back on in their house. Everyone thanks Peter for keeping them entertained, though Chris points out that Robot Chicken already did the same thing three months before (Chris is voiced by Seth Green, creator of Robot Chicken). A discussion follows, in which Peter denigrates that show as Chris defends it. Chris finally leaves the room in frustration as Peter indifferently hums part of the Star Wars end credits music. [D-Man2010]

Family Guy Blue Harvest

Family Guy Blue Harvest (2007)

Adrienne Barbeau

Ed Harris

Tom Atkins

Five tales of terror are presented. The first deals with a demented old man returning from the grave to get the Father's Day cake his murdering daughter never gave him. The second is about a not-too-bright farmer discovering a meteor that turns everything into plant-life. The third is about a vengeful husband burying his wife and her lover up to their necks on the beach. The fourth is about a creature that resides in a crate under the steps of a college. The final story is about an ultra-rich businessman who gets his comeuppance from cockroaches.—Todd A. Bobenrieth

Creepshow

Creepshow (1982)

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